Сегодня прокрастинирую претенциозно: читаю письма, которые Дюрер отправил из Венеции своему другу
Пиркгеймеру:
Records of Journeys to Venice and the Low Countries by Albrecht Dürer.
Самые смешные отрывки:
Those who go about on the Riva always expect four times the value for anything, for they are the falsest knaves that live there. No one expects to get an honest service of them. For that reason some good people warned me to be on my guard against them. They told me that they cheat both man and beast, and that you could buy better things for less money at Frankfort than at Venice.
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On the other hand, there are also amongst them the most faithless, lying, thievish rascals; such as I scarcely believed could exist on earth; and yet if one did not know them, one would think that they were the nicest men on earth. I cannot help laughing to myself when they talk to me: they know that their villainy is well known, but that does not bother them.
I have many good friends among the Italians who warn me not to eat and drink with their painters, for many of them are my enemies and copy my work in the churches and wherever they can find it; afterwards they criticize it and claim that it is not done in the antique style and say it is no good, but Giambellin (Giovanni Bellini) has praised me highly to many gentlemen. He would willingly have something of mine, and came himself to me and asked me to do something for him, and said that he would pay well for it, and everyone tells me what an upright man he is, so that I am really friendly with him. He is very old and yet he is the best painter of all.
ещё забавные цитаты, на фоне которых разворачивается эпопея с ПОКУПКОЙ КОВРОВ. "Дорогой друг, они все здесь узкие и длинные, нет ни одного КВАДРАТНОГО, как ты просишь!"
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I wish you had occasion to come here, I know the time would pass quickly, for there are so many nice men here, real artists. And I have such a crowd of foreigners (Italians) about me that I am forced sometimes to shut myself up, and the gentlemen all wish me well, but few of the painters.
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На исходе второго месяца чада кутежа, не получив ни одного письма от матери и жены:
as for my wife, I begin to think that I have lost her
Бггг:
It really seems to me you must have taken a mistress; only beware you don't get a master. But you are wise enough about your own affairs.
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except the painters, everyone wishes me well
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If only you were as gentle as I am, you would have all the virtues. Thank you, too, for everything you are doing for me, if only you would not bother me about the rings. If they do not please you, break off their heads and throw them in the privy, as Peter Weisweber says.
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Most learned, approved, wise, master of many languages, keen to detect all uttered lies, and quick to recognize real truth, honourable, Herr Wilibald Pirkheimer, your humble servant, Albrecht Dürer, wishes you all health, great and worthy honour, with the devil as much of such nonsense as you like.
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I have shut up all the painters, who used to say that I was good at engraving, but that in painting I didn't know how to handle my colours. Now they all say they never saw better colouring.
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My French mantle greets you, and so does my Italian coat. It seems to me that you smell of gallantry. I can scent it from here; and they say here, that when you go courting, you pretend to be no more than 25 years old. Oh, yes! Multiply that and I`ll believe it. My friend, there `s a devil of a lot of Italians here who are just like you. I don't know how it is!
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Bernhard Holzbeck told me great things of you, but I believe that he did so because you have become his brother- in-law. But nothing makes me more angry than to hear anyone say that you are handsome, for then I should have to be ugly; that would make me mad.
The other day I found a gray hair on my head, which was produced by sheer misery and annoyance. I think I am fated to have evil days. My French mantle and the doublet and the brown coat send you a hearty greeting. But I should like to see what your drinking club can do that you hold yourself so high.
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It did not escape me, when you wrote the last letter, you were full of amorous thoughts. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, for making yourself out so good looking when you are so old. Your flirting is like a big shaggy dog playing with a little kitten. If you were only as nice and sleek as I am, I might understand it; but when I get to be a burgomaster I will shame you with the Luginsland [Editor's note: this was a Nuremberg prison], as you do the pious Zamener and me. I will have you shut up there for once with the Rechenmeister, Rosentaler, Gartner, Schlitz, and Por girls, and many others whom for shortness I will not name. They must deal with you. They ask after me more than after you, however, for you yourself write that both girls and ladies ask after me—that is a sign of my virtue! But if God brings me home again safely, I do not know how I shall get along with you with your great wisdom: but I `m glad on account of your virtue and good nature; and your dogs will be the better for it, for you will not beat them lame any more. But if you are so highly respected at home, you will not dare to be seen speaking with a poor painter in the streets, it would be a great disgrace, con poltrone di pintore.
Хохотала:
As for your previous comment that I should come home soon or else you would give my wife a "washing," you are not permitted to do so, since you would ride her to death.
(Десятый месяц пребывания Дюрера в Венеции)
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Know, too, that I decided to learn dancing and went twice to the school, for which I had to pay the master a ducat. No one could get me to go there again. To learn dancing, I should have had to pay away all that I have earned, and at the end I should have known nothing about it.
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Here I am a gentleman, at home a parasite.
Всегда была немного влюблена в Дюрера, он совершенно очаровательный.